Mother Teresa may be the best-known and most loved public Christian of the late 20th Century. Last week, CNN broke the “news” that Mother Teresa struggled through a season of doubt. The next Sunday, an article in the newspaper reported that she had “felt alone and separated from God.” All this comes from a collection of letters, etc., which is to be released in September. And it all happened 20 or 30 years ago.

I was not especially surprised to learn of Mother Teresa’s dark season. I was surprised that the media considered it ground shattering news.

Some seem to take delight in the confessions of such religious persons: “See, I told you so. It
is all a sham!” Others have their own faith rocked, wondering: “If a person like Mother Teresa
has doubts, what hope can I have?”

I am not sure why the fiction persists that “real” Christians have no doubts and have no patience or compassion for those who do. I have found that very rarely to be the case. Besides that, I am persuaded that “doubtless Christianity” is of little value. At the same time, I found no need to wallow in my own doubts, or to parade them as a pulpit exhibitionist Sunday after Sunday, but there is a time and a place for such honesty in a constructive, faith-building (!) way.

Mother Teresa is a good example of how to deal with those doubts. She confessed them to
faithful, compassionate partners. She faithfully continued to pray through her doubts. She
remained in the community of faith. She never allowed doubt and bitterness to become a way
of life.

The deepest Christians I have known have all confessed seasons of doubt. Sometimes they
were brief. At other times they persisted for years. Sometimes the doubt was occasioned by a
crisis. At other times crisis brought the doubt to an end.

Being honest and helpful about such doubt is essential to authentic Christian witness. Recent
surveys have shown that the #1 question “seekers” ask is: “Where is God in the midst of
violence and injustice?” These persons are not seeking a philosophical argument to prove the
existence of God; they want to meet God in the mess of life.

Psalm 73 demonstrates the passage from simplistic certainty, through doubt, to renewed faith.

The Psalm opens with a simple, popular assertion of faith: “Truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart!” Praise the Lord!

But the trouble begins when the Psalmist (who presumes him/herself to be “pure in heart”) looks around. Evil people do well! In fact, they seem to do better than the faithful. They thumb their noses at God and do whatever they wish. And they seem to get away with it. Reality contradicts the assertion of faith at the beginning of the Psalm. The Psalmist reaches a low point with the complaint: “It surely seemed as nothing that I kept my heart clean.” In other words: “What’s the point?”

The Psalmist does not surrender to doubt, but engages it—in the Temple. Better yet, God
engages the Psalmist in the Temple. In the House of God (not outside it), amid the people of
God, in the moment of worship the Psalmist’s eyes are opened. Justice and mercy are certain.
The Psalmist realizes that God’s goodness is not manifested in health, wealth and success.
“Good” is redefined with a deeper understanding (and faith) as the companionship of God. “But
for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord, Yahweh, my refuge—telling of
all your works!”

These days we are hearing more about “spiritual disciplines” (prayer, meditation, Bible reading, worship, service, etc.) Usually the disciplines are presented as ways to mature Christian life. I agree with that, but please allow me to add a twist. Psalm 73 shows that the persistent practice of “spiritual disciplines” (Temple worship) is what sustains through seasons of doubt and results in deep, vibrant faith. Mother Teresa followed the same pattern. Worshiping when she didn’t feel like it; praying when it made no sense; confessing to fellow believers; and persisting in ministry.

Of course, I am not arguing for a hollow, hypocritical stoicism. I also am not assuming that all
doubt is honest. I am suggesting that God honors “doubters” with presence as they continue to be engaged with the community of faith, regularly worship despite the pain, and persist in
prayer. The answer to seasons of doubt is not to abandon God’s people and the practices of
faith. That is the time to rethink our spiritual disciplines—not to abandon them. We may
discover the fundamental truth that the presence of God is the best there is. Our problem may
not be so much about God as it is about how we define “good.”

Like the Psalmist, I have found that to be true.

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