50 Ways to Leave Your Church

This Summer my best friend resigned from his Church. That alone is not remarkable. Some might be surprised that he resigned with nowhere (literally) to go. Or that he resigned after over 30 years in pastoral ministry—the only “profession” he has known. Or that he resigned having been a successful youth pastor in his younger days, or later leading a church to relocate and build over 40,000 square feet of ministry space, or having a half dozen folks (myself included) respond to calls of “full-time Christian service” (including at least 2 missionaries), or years of leading the pack in mission giving. Or that he resigned despite the fact that he, himself, had been on missionary trips to Honduras, Philippines, and Russia.

My friend resigned because he despaired of the church ever becoming what God had intended.

“Monday morning resignations” are a common occurrence for those of us in the ministry. But we are usually back in the saddle by Tuesday. Now, more and more, this pattern is being broken, and the despair or dissatisfaction of Monday leads to resignation on Wednesday night.

Sometimes, it is acted out in younger pastors, others (like my friend) are close enough to retirement that folks dismiss it, and still others are those retired ministers who choose never to darken the door of a church again.

It is a fearful toll.

About the same time, I received an electronic newsletter called Twenty-five Ways to Lose Your Passion for Ministry. It plays on Paul Simon’s old tune Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover.

And just last week I read a news report that 56% of American employees suffer from workplace-related depression. The symptoms may include tiredness or lethargy, poor communication, a decline in productivity, overall sadness, and an increase in unexplained absences.

This sounds like many pastors I know—myself included! Others have suggested that depression is widespread among ministers. I have good reason to think that is true, and wonder if much of the ineffectiveness, externalized rationalizations, and loss of passion are symptomatic of ministerial depression.

It is easy for loss of passion about ministry to turn into a blame game. But I don’t believe that would be helpful. That caveat said, we must admit that change theorists have come to the conclusion that the first, and most important, target of change in situations that need change (which is most churches) is ourselves. Some of this is simple effectiveness—I can’t change someone else, but I can change myself.

This is the thrust of Twenty-Five Ways…. “Passion is really an internal issue.” The article then suggests some ways to authentic passion about our ministry. Indeed, “the only passion to which God has called us is to the passionate relationship with Christ.”

I read the article as a call to spiritual renewal, not a simplistic statement that pastors have no one to blame but themselves. There ARE external factors. And these ARE real. And some of them ARE destructive and depressing. Our churches (or places of ministry) ARE full of unhealthy, unwholesome, demanding people. But it is because there are sinners there. After all, WE are there. The point is, ministers must see to their own spiritual care. If you are fortunate to have someone else in your ministry who cares about your spirit, you are blessed. Praise God—and listen to them! Take care of yourself!

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