ABC Great Rivers Region: Guest Columnist Kay Klinkenborg: "An Option to Deepen Your Intimacy with God"

Kay Klinkenborg, MA, LMFT
is a licensed marriage therapist
and has found SD to be a vital part
of her own spiritual journey over the
past 10 years. Her e-mail address is:
kayklink@insightbb.com

Spiritual Direction:
An Option to Deepen Your Intimacy with God

Spiritual Direction (SD) is an ancient Christian Discipline that is blossoming into awareness throughout mainline churches. Yet, it is common for professional church leaders or laypersons not to know about SD. It is one of many disciplines that can be used to deepen ones intimacy with God.

History of Spiritual Direction

The origins of SD are ancient. As early as 350-435 CE, John Cassian began the practice of intentional spiritual mentoring in monastic life. St. Benedict followed Cassian’s philosophy and incorporated into the “Rule” the deliberate pattern of a daily walk with God. By the end of the 7 th century, most monastic communities were practicing this spiritual discipline. The Dominicans, a religious order of preachers, took it outside the monastic walls around 1216 CE and taught it to the ordinary people as a way of deepening their relationship with God. Catholic and Episcopal spiritual directors have been an influence in teaching other Christian mainline denominations about this spiritual practice in the most recent decades; (Christianity Today, April, 2003).

What Exactly Is Spiritual Direction?

SD is an intentional selection of a spiritual companion to journey with you through life toward a deeper relationship with God and self. It is working toward more deliberate spiritual practices and is “carried out in a one to one trusting relationship with a Christian who is trained to be a competent guide, who then ‘companions’ another person, listening to that person’s life story with an ear for the movement to the Holy, of the Divine;” (J.S. Gaines, MDiv, former director of Spiritual Directors International).

Other common words used for the spiritual director’s role are soul friend, pilgrim, companion, or spiritual guide. A spiritual director helps you integrate and continue to work on spiritual development in every area of your life.

A spiritual director is a resource to help us enrich our prayer life, coach us in solitude and meditation and often will suggest reading material that coincides with our current issues and questions.

Spouses cannot be spiritual directors to each other. A spiritual director needs to be a neutral person in your life that you meet face to face regularly, generally monthly. The fee is often negotiated, but generally runs between $30-$60 per session.

What is the Difference Between Therapy and Spiritual Direction?

Spiritual direction is not about problem solving; that should not be the focus of the time spent with a director. Instead, it is about finding and responding to God in the midst of life’s pain, joys, chaos, and ordinary rhythms of life. Therapy is not to be confused with SD. Therapy is about taking problems and looking for healthy solutions. For deeper psychological struggles, therapy is also appropriate. It takes a mature, mentally healthy adult to participate in SD. The journey of SD takes a person who can be vulnerable enough to share their emotions, their questions and their struggles about their faith and relationship with God. It is primarily about continuing to work on spiritual disciplines in our life that will enhance our intimate connection with God, and learning to see and hear God’s presence in life.

Selecting a Spiritual Director

There are several things to consider in selecting a spiritual director. The director does not need to be part of your denomination. The important criteria are that the person be a Christian of high integrity with a credible faith journey, who receives regular spiritual direction themselves. There are certified spiritual director programs throughout the world. Most spiritual directors that do this for a living have a certificate from a credible program. One of the best ways to find a spiritual director in your area is to inquire at local religious retreat centers, convents, diocesan offices, or denominational offices of your preference. The Internet has a list of certified SD programs and those sites can help locate possible resources in your area.

There are many spiritually qualified directors who do not have certification. In selecting a spiritual director, the process would be to inquiry as to their knowledge and to know that they participate in this practice themselves.

Many pastors are qualified, but have only a few hours to offer SD and hesitate to show partiality to a few and exclude others. Also many pastors are themselves spiritually depleted and need to receive rather than give spiritual direction. Most people select a spiritual director outside of their church’s professional staff to protect the special relationship they have and to have a more diverse experience with someone from another church experience and perspective.

Further Resources

Soul Friend by Kenneth Leech;
Care of the Mind/Care of the Spirit by Gerald May, MD.
The Contemplative Pastor: Returning to the Art of Spiritual Direction by Eugene Peterson
Take and Read: An Annotated List by Eugene Peterson
Companions on the Way: The Art of Spiritual Guidance by Morton Kelsey
This Holy Longing by Ron Rohleiser